have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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