I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
