No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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