I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
