yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
