in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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