she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
3pm strippers are depressing
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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