I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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