in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
