I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
