physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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