Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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