You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
