I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
