Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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