If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
how drunk are you?
Several
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
