nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
