remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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