We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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