I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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