He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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