Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
