how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
