And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
