i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
