I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
