there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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