If that was your dad, he is hot
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
