Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
