Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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