i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
