i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
