Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
