one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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