She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
