I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
