she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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