i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
