38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
