I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
