he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's paint friendship bongs
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
