You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we're so committed to being not committed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
