I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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