Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We talked him into tasing himself.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
