My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
