i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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