wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
