i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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