yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
