just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
