He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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