You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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