I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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